Asking EWTN about Forgiveness and Indulgences

Called to Communion - May 2, 2025 - with Dr. David Anders

Find the Video HERE

48:10 – 52:30

Hi, thank you for taking my call. Um, first of all, background: I’m going to Rome again this June for the Jubilee year of the Holy Doors, and at the same time to get an indulgence for my parents sins, my deceased parents sins, and for myself as well. Now, I know I’ve been reading some books about preparation for that. That you have to do confession and you have to do uh…. Not doing the sins that you’ve been doing before, I know. But my questions here is, will I be able to obtain plenary indulgence for my sins and the sins of my parents if I can’t forgive a close family members who have deeply hurt me a lot. So that’s my questions.

Yah, thanks, I appreciate the question. So, uh, you know…. Let me draw a distinction for you, okay? There’s a difference between forgiving someone, on the one hand, and not feeling pain and hurt at what they did for you, right? And many times people think ‘well, I can’t forgive,’ and what they mean by that is, ‘I can’t think of this person without pain.’ Or maybe, you know, I don’t want to see them. Well those emotional responses are very natural, are often not within our control. And since they’re not within our control they don’t really follow… fall under the scope of something that’s morally relevant for us. Like, you’re not culpable for what you can’t control. People can get associations in their mind, like let’s say somebody abused you and, you know, there was some context and so whenever you encounter that context you automatically think back to that episode of abuse. Well that’s... that’s automatic, you can’t do anything about that, right? Triggering those kind of thoughts doesn’t mean you haven't forgiven, right? Also, forgiveness does not mean that you sign up to be abused again. Right? So lets say that somebody is a career criminal, right? They’ve sown themselves to be utterly untrustworthy. Then it would be fool-hearty to put yourself back into relationship with them in a trusting way. And so what does it mean to forgive someone who is utterly not worthy of trust and the very thought of whom fills you with pain and loathing? Right? Is it possible to forgive a person like that? And I think it is but I would like to qualify it… So, you know, to forgive someone means, I believe, that you don’t hold the past against them, and you would desire their good, and you would be in union with them in the good, if such a thing were possible. Now to desire the good for them is to desire the good for their soul. And if that person is unrepentant and continuing to hurt and abuse the thing to desire for them is that they be repentant and stop hurting and abusing…

Yeah, yeah.

And so ask yourself the question, could I do that? Could I want for that person to have an honest assessment of who they are and how they’ve hurt others and to stop doing it? And if they did, if they really turned from their evil ways, and acknowledged their fault would I be willing to be in relationship with them? I think that people normally find that that’s a question they can answer in the affirmative. And I think that as long as you have that disposition you can count yourself as having forgiven, recognizing that that hasn’t happened yet so for right now I have to hold off on relationship, but I’ll pray for that person’s well being and I’ll maintain that attitude of openness should they ever turn. Right? And if you do that I think you’ve repented of your own un-forgiveness sufficiently. Does that make sense?

Hello?

Yes, does that make sense Maria?… can you hear us Maria?

Yes, now I can hear you back, go ahead.

Okay, could you… does that make sense to you, what Dr. Anders just said?

Yeah, so, um, yeah, I just missed the last sentence. So, in other words,... if they’re not doing anything yet to, you know, repent. So it’s just to pray for them, right? And I go on with….

Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to go and be their best friend right now. You don’t have to go and be their best friend. And you can still have forgiven them. And you can go to Rome and get your indulgence.

Topics discussed:

3:25 – Papal Counsel Error

6:05 – Reverence towards Pope

7:43 – Communion at Easter Season

11:35 – John 14:28, Trinity

14:08 – Physically Fighting the Devil

15:30 – Our Lady of Fatima

19:55 – Forgiveness without Confession

20:32 – Luther and Purgatory Books

22:15 – Eucharistic Frequency

33:00 – Ashes of the Departed

35:00 – Resources on the Reformation

38:38 – Catholics and Nazis

44:05 – Belief of the Virgin Birth

46:05 – “Everlasting Life” in Greek

48:10 – Forgiveness for Indulgences

52:35 – Baptism vs. Unkindness